As a regular frequenter of the gym, I’ve had ample opportunity to observe those around me and work myself into a lather – and not by exercising. Here are eight of my pet peeves. Do you have any to add to the list?

1. Guys, when you rearrange your package, we can see you! It’s kind of like when you’re in the car and pick your nose, which we can also see. Just because you do it quickly and furtively, doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed. So if your twig and berries need an adjustment, maybe it’s time to step into the locker room.
2. Just because you’re a trainer, it doesn’t mean you get to kick me off a machine. Yes, you’re underpaid and overworked. I get it. But I pay for my gym membership, so wait your turn.
3. If we see each other at the gym every day for years, you can spare a nod to acknowledge my existence. I know I’m old, invisible, and not the eye candy you normally scope out, but I’m still here! Ladies, that goes for you too.
4. Wearing makeup to the gym is a breach of the sister code. It’s like wearing a slutty Halloween costume. In both cases, the point is not to look good, so don’t even try. It just makes you look desperate anyway.
5. Wearing sexy workout clothes is also bad form. We know you have a rockin’ body, even if you’re not walking around semi-naked.
6. If you don’t wipe off the cardio equipment when you’re finished using it, that tells me all I need to know about you, none of it good.
7. If you’re one of those people who join the gym in January and only go for a month, skip it. The overcrowding – although short-lived – is annoying. I refer to it as amateur hour. Get back on your couch and sign up when you’re committed to making exercise an unwavering part of your life.
8. If you’re fit, what are you doing at the gym anyway? It’s like you’re taunting the rest of us. Can’t you just go run a marathon or something?