It occurs to me that everyone has secrets, or at least portions of their lives that only some people know about. This starts during the teenage years, when kids begin to stake out their independence by doing things and going places that they think their parents know nothing about. They laugh at us behind our backs as they head to a party while we think they’re studying or engaging in some other saintly activity. They think we’re clueless, and we probably are. But so are they.

What they fail to realize is this: Just as they have secret lives we know nothing about, so do we. And not just now. We’ve had these secret lives since we were their age!

In the time-honored tradition of teenagers everywhere and for all eternity, we too were less than candid with our parents about our whereabouts and behavior. Our kids know this – and often use this knowledge to manipulate us – but they also think that they can gradually whittle away at our past lives to the point that there is nothing about our misspent youth that they’re not aware of.

Au contraire, my little ones. There is plenty about us that they don’t know, and will never know. What’s more, there is plenty about our lives right now that is off limits to them.

Of course, they think this is not and should not be the case. They expect us to answer their questions candidly, omitting nothing along the way. They routinely shut us down but think that our lives are an open – and exceedingly boring – book.

The truth is, teens and young adults do a lot of stupid things and I have no desire to know about all of them. Part of growing up is testing your wings, making mistakes, falling flat on your face, and covering your tracks. And part of being a grown up is the privilege of privacy and not having to share details of your life that you wish to keep to yourself.

So kids, remember that lack of full disclosure is a two-way street. And don’t be too self-congratulatory when you pull the wool over your parents’ eyes. We know it’s happening and we’re not afraid of the dark.