My verbal expression often includes profanity, so I was a bit taken aback several years ago when a friend of mine told me she was trying to avoid swearing. “There are better words you can use,” she told me.

Here’s the problem: Sometimes there just aren’t better words. Sometimes you just have to punctuate your statements with a rousing curse word.

I was raised by two teachers who must have heard it all. I doubt that anything that came out of my mouth shocked my parents. They occasionally used profanity, and consequently, so did I. No big deal.  When I learned Italian, I swore freely, because 1) it just didn’t carry the same weight in another language and 2) I was desperate to increase my vocabulary.

When my own kids were small, I tried to clean up my act. But they inevitably heard things, and not always from me. Is it appropriate for a three-year-old to ask for a f***ing cookie? No, but it’s not the end of the world. Their non-native speaking grandparents said “shit” so often, I think they were under the impression it was the same thing as saying “darn.”

Don’t get me wrong. I discouraged my children from using profanity outside of our home or in front of other people. But the truth is, I really didn’t give a f*ck if they swore occasionally, especially as they got older. I believe in picking your battles, and cursing was just not one of them.

Notice that I’m less inclined to swear (those timid ***!) in print. That’s because the written word is somehow different. Unlike spoken language, it doesn’t go away. An errant “f*ck” vanishes quickly when you say it, but forever remains on the page.

So if you’re inclined to swear when you speak, let it fly. I won’t mind. And by the way, saying “freaking” is the same f***ing  thing.